


from salt to shore

by netherprince



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Post-Movie, Road Trips, Trans Male Character, id say slow burn but theyre already dathing theyre just not at peak love yet, surprise connor's trans and gay and unstoppable, they love each other and this will have a happy ending and you cant stop me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-02 14:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10946613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/netherprince/pseuds/netherprince
Summary: “You know, I- When I went to Orlando, when I was a kid, y’know- When I went to Orlando, we road tripped there."Or- the McPriceley road trip fanfic we all needed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> current rating is teen, i guess? will probably change in later chapters

In Uganda, late at night, there’s time to talk.

Sure, no one wants to talk about anything, no one wants to think about what’ll happen to them after, but Kevin doesn’t know what else to do with himself besides talk. The fact that Elder- Connor, that Connor is dozing against him, that’s not even enough to stop him... Nor is the fact that it’s at least two in the morning.

Staying up is still novel, and Kevin drinks too much coffee, so he talks to himself. What else is there to do when you can’t reach the remote? “You know, I- When I went to Orlando, when I was a kid, y’know- When I went to Orlando, we road tripped there.

“It was probably the best week anyone’s ever spent in a car. It was me and my brother and my parents, and we were all too zoned out to be stressed- well, my dad was always stressed, but that’s just because mom kept fumbling the map and almost sending us to Yellowstone. But, anyways, it was… It was nice. We ate awful fast food, saw the sights of the South, I went out around the world for the first time.” He laughs and pushes his too-long hair out of his face with the hand that isn’t rubbing circles in Connor’s side.

“We even went camping a couple of times. And when we finally got there, it was like all the excitement and hope was suddenly real- given shape in all the towering castles and fireworks and…” Kevin trails off, letting his head tilt back. There’s a long moment of silence, before Connor shifts under his arm, sitting up enough to rest his cheek on Kevin’s shoulder.

“You really want to go back,” he says sleepily, and Kevin feels his heart melt even further- Connor’s all heavy eyes and mussed hair, and it’s… well, it’s precious. “I’d go for you, Kev. Maybe I’d see Ariel.”

Kevin can’t help his doofy smile, so far from the fake one he learned to aid in handing out books he barely believed in. He learned how to do this one here, surrounded by friends and the people he loves- it’s the one he likes. From Connor’s matching one, he supposes the feeling is matched. “I’d love to go with you, Con. You’d love it. We could rent out a room there for a couple nights, just have a good time.”

Connor mulls this over in his sleepy haze. He rubs his face a little and sits up further, careful to not dislodge Kevin’s arm. “The only long trip I’ve ever been on was- well, it was to the airport to come here. It was nice, I guess… I wasn’t exactly what you’d call psyched. Elder Poptarts kept getting crumbs on me and I had to put all our luggage between us.” Kevin only laughs a little, and Connor returns the politeness with just _half_ of a death glare. “You try getting sticky strawberry paste off of your tie, Elder Price. You would have done the same thing.”

“Oh, it can’t be worse than getting blood out of a shirt,” Kevin laughs, squeezing Connor closer to him so he can tap their heads together. “But, no, I understand. You have to road trip with the right person.”

"Yes... Any other trips I had were short, and weekly. I don't need to worry about those anymore, now, though," Connor says, stronger than he feels, and nestles against Kevin's neck. Kevin's never going to get over the fact that he can help make this wonderful,  _incredible_ human being feel safe.

There’s a lull for awhile, where they just listen to the quiet music of the menu screen that’s casting the only light on the room. Sure, most people in their early 20’s don’t stay up late watching Harry Potter, but Arnold left them lying around and Kevin had never seen them. After all, witchcraft is _witchcraft._ At this point, though, who can honestly say they care about the rules?

From even being awake now, to the coffee cup sitting by Kevin’s dented pot, to the fact that Connor is running his fingers along the collar of his shirt in the most loving way. The rules are gone, and Kevin likes it this way.

Except for the chores board. The chores board is necessary for a functioning society. Kevin can’t do laundry, Poptarts cannot be trusted to buy food, and if Connor has to find one more dish that came from under a bed with two weak old dried condiments, he’ll explode.

The chores board is love. The chores board is life. The chores board has a passage in the Book of Arnold.

Kevin hums under the gentle affection, his fingers curling slow Connor’s hair, then blinks down at him. “Where would you wanna go? If, if you were to go on a road trip. Anywhere in America.”

Connor pauses in his lazy touch to focus back on the dangling thread of conversation, and drums his fingers on Kevin’s chest. “Me? Well, gosh, Kev… New York, I think. It seems good there, and I want to see Central Park. There’s always these street performers there, and I just- I’d want to break up some money and give it to everyone being amazing for the public.”

“You know, Con,” Kevin laughs, “I think you’re nicer than me.” He laughs even harder, barely clamping his hand over his mouth, when Connor just nods resolutely. The former District Leader shushes him quickly, but it’s too late- they both fall into a horrible giggle fit, clutching onto each other and trying not to wake up the rest of the house. The last thing they need is Arnold to come in and surprise them while they’re in bed.

“Seriously- seriously, though- New York. I wanna be a tourist. No stress about proselytising, no worrying about dying, just… wandering the city, ending up in some greasy hole in the wall, being a person. It sounds nice, being a person. Haven’t tried it in awhile.” With the sad hint in Connor’s voice, Kevin decides to vigorously fix it.

Sometimes, it’s that simple.

 

— — — — — — — — — — —

 

Sometimes, though, it isn’t.

Coming home had the elders going their separate ways- some to home, some to other places. Arnold took Nabulungi to live with a cousin, Poptarts wanted to see his sister’s grave.

Because Kevin is overwhelmingly gay for his sunshine boyfriend, though, he thought he’d take him home to meet his folks. They wanted him to come home, after all, sounded excited…

It’s amazing how letters can lie.

When Kevin steps off the plane, Connor’s hand held tightly in his, he sees how he’s ruined everything. His parents are there, of course- but not his siblings. And they have a suitcase.

“Why do your parents have a suitcase, Kev?” Connor asks quietly, but the dread in his voice drips like the tar slowing Kevin’s footsteps to a halt. He’s rooted six feet from his parents, who look him and Connor over, shake their heads, and briskly walk away, leaving only the suitcase and fresh tears in their wake.

Kevin doesn’t remember how he ended up clinging to Connor on a bench, three bags between them- one holding all the things he had in his room that were small enough to fit and not worth selling- but he’s too busy hyperventilating to care. Connor is stroking his hair and rocking him, and his fingers are tight in the worn-white fabric of his shirt, next to the sky blue tie that Nabu gave him, and Kevin wants to die here.

He thinks he will, for a long minute.

But his chest loosens slowly, and eventually his fingers follow suit, until Kevin is just shuddering against Connor’s shoulder. Shaking hands tug off his name tag, then smooth his hair, and he forces himself to sit up and be Kevin Price, something incredible, all over again.

Connor offers him an understanding smile, and Kevin smiles back after a horrible second of fear and doubt and loathing, before looking out at the airport.

“You- y’know, Con.”

“Mhm?”

“My family has been putting money into my bank account for after I get back from my mission.” Kevin’s quiet voice trails for a moment, before he looks at Connor again, smile pained but so, so hopeful.

He wants to kiss Connor instead of talking, but he doesn’t. Neither of them are ready for that, yet. Not now. Not tied to this. He does take his hand, though, does hold it close to his chest.

“Have you ever been to Yellowstone, Con?”

“Oh, no, I haven’t, Kev, but… I think it sounds real nice right now.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s the first hour that’s the hardest.

Neither Kevin nor Connor are particularly used to driving long distances- especially not in this car, grabbed for cheap with no AC and an engine that roars when too fast or too slow- and it’s been long enough that filling the air is strange, is alien. Silence aside from the sound of air rushing in through the window and the occasional beeps of the GPS reigns supreme, and Kevin wonders if this was actually the worst idea.

The benefit to hellishly long drives in the middle of nowhere comes in a billboard a little over an hour outside of town, comes in Connor’s squeaky laugh next to Kevin, jarring him out of his driving zen. He’s missed the billboard itself, of course- going 70 up Highway 15 will do that- but Connor’s laughter is distracting in the best of ways, bringing up Kevin’s own breathless, confused chuckle. “What are- what are we laughing about?” He asks, but Connor is physically incapable of answering for a minute, so Kevin is forced to wait, stuck in giggly little breaths.

After Connor’s actually able to breathe, he pants, then wheezes, “There was a sign for _Big Jim’s_ _**P-Puh-Pussy Bungalow!”** _ With that finally in the air, they’re both laughing to the point of tears, Kevin struggling to keep himself driving steadily. The laughter settles faster this time, but then Kevin makes the mistake of glancing over at Connor, and they’re both lost again.

Eventually, though, a much more content calm settles in the car. Connor undoes his tie and kicks off his shoes, tipping his head back against the seat. The smile lingers from the laugh, and Kevin’s pretty sure he’s not going to spasm with more laughter for the next five minutes, so he breaks yet another rule, drops a hand to the centre console to take Connor’s in his own. It’s sloppy at first, but Connor has gotten really good at holding hands while Kevin’s distracted, so he fixes their hands and squeezes Kevin’s lightly.

“…You did really well. Better than me, anyways. It’s not your fault. I mean, if it was anyone’s fault, it’d be _mine-”_ Connor is cut off by Kevin squeezing his hand back, immediately cutting over him.

“It’s their fault for thinking that I’d always be their perfect little Mormon son. I like who I am now, for the first time in a very, very long time. I like…” Kevin sighs softly, stress melting out into happiness. “I like who I am with you. I like who I am with Arnold and Nabu. I like the me that stood by you instead of running after them.” He pauses, and a smile spreads across his face, wide as anything. “I like the me that gets you to laugh, con.”

Connor stares at him for a moment, and Kevin can see the matching smile pop up after a moment, like the flash of a camera. It comes with a little laugh. “I like this you a lot better, too, personally. Old you was a little much for _anyone_ to handle.” Kevin makes a mockingly offended sound, but Connor continues, “Besides, this one holds me. I like that.”

Kevin doesn’t know what to say, but he supposes his smile says it all, in the end. Connor gets the radio working, and a brand new year’s Top 40 rolls through the car, choruses picked up on the second time they’re heard, sung to the passing day.

 

— — — — — — — —

 

Yellowstone, of course, is beautiful. They park as close to the wild as they can and just spend the day meandering through grass and over rocks, having to stop halfway through to hit up a gift shop. Amazingly enough, when you don’t have to wear formal wear every day of your life,you kinda don’t want to. They each pick up a couple shirts and some shoes that don’t lace, and, after a little hesitation, some shorts, too- amongst a mix of souvenirs. After all, how often do people go to Yellowstone?

When they each come out of the car, freshly de-formal’d, they take turns flushing and laughing. “Gosh, we really look like tourists now,” Connor giggles, wedging his visor on his head while Kevin bites the tag off his sunglasses. “You look-”

“Ridiculous?”

“Happy.” Kevin blinks, before smiling at Connor, stepping closer to pull him in for a one-armed hug. With a laugh, Connor hipchecks him away, adjusting his visor again. “Come on, I wanna climb that rock, and you need to help me up.”

And, as he always will, Kevin breaks into a grin and nods. “Yeah, alright, wimp. Only because I like you so much.”

 

— — — — — — — —

 

The day stretches on into sunset, and as the first stars come out, Kevin sets aside his half of their meal. He’s only a little stiff from the drive, but it’s going to get worst- at least Connor has the wheel for the next part of their trip. Connor makes a curious noise up at Kevin, leaning to watch him, but Kevin starts walking around to the back.

He has plans. Good plans. Their ancient Honda has seats that can go flat, so if he puts them down, gets the blankets they picked up from a gas station in Utah, he can make this a little more special. Kevin hums peacefully as he smooths out the soft blankets, then pops his head over the passenger seat, smiling eagerly at Connor. “Bring the food back here,” he says, leaning back, before adding, “Please?”

The soft laugh and the car door opening tell Kevin he’s not being too big a pain, and when Connor steps around to the open back, he’s greeted by a very pleased Kevin sitting in a brand new makeshift bed. “Ta daaa. Cozy.” Connor snorts, but brings the bags in, curls up under Kevin’s arm like always.

“I don’t really see how this is that much better- what?” Connor’s cut off by a little nudge, and then Kevin points up. Through the sunroof, the stars are on full display, and Connor looks down to meet Kevin’s excited smile.

“Now we can cuddle and look at the stars without having to worry about the eye-eating flies. Or the lions. Or the safari ants. Or-” He’s silenced by a light nudge, and they both laugh hard, pressing all the closer. “Come on, it’s pretty good, right?”

Connor gives him a smile, and Kevin’s startled by the warmth he sees there. “It’s incredible, Kev. Thank you.” Kevin’s even more caught off guard by the kiss that gets pressed to his cheek, and he sits in pleased, amazed shock as Connor nestles in and steals his fries.


	3. Chapter 3

It takes longer than either of them expected to want to leave Yellowstone.

“I think I could stay here my whole life, but.” Kevin doesn’t know what he wants to come after the but- well. He does know. There’s a million and one things he wants to do with Connor by his side, with a newfound freedom and nothing to keep him tied down.

Kevin idly considers just running off into the woods, living like a hermit- maybe people would think he was Cain, cursed to wander the earth alone. Connor’s head on his chest while they laze in the morning sun draws him away from the concept, though, because you can’t live alone if a pretty boy wants to love you.

Connor, of course, is thinking much the same thing as he looks up at Kevin, the lines of his face all the more striking in the angled light. “But I want to see Orlando.” The soft gasp makes him smile, and he adds, “You promised, remember?” He doesn’t want to get up, but he knows if he doesn’t, they’ll spend another day here, and that’s no way to have a road trip. Kevin grunts at the loss of warmth as Connor opens the back door, letting more sun in.

“Five more minutes?” Kevin still thinks it’s worth it when Connor swats his leg, because Con is smiling, and that’s worth taking a bullet to the face. “Alright, alright. Orlando. Orlando, then to New York. You’re driving, I’ll man the map.” The sun feels like the warmth in his chest, and he wishes he could make it into something physical, a blanket to wrap Connor in.

“Do you know how to use a map, prettyboy?” Connor’s smug grin is answered by a shocked gasp, and Kevin struggles out of their backseat to be a nuisance, trapping Connor in a tight hold and rubbing his patchy stubble into his neck. “Kevin- No, stop!” It’s with a laugh that Connor frees himself from the torment that is stubble burn, and he waves him away. “You aren’t allowed to touch me until you shave. No, you can’t puppy-face me, go shave.”

Kevin scoffs, but rubs his scratchy jaw, vague annoyance turning to acceptance. “Yeah, that’s fair. We can’t all be hairless.” Connor makes a scandalised noise, but it’s calmed by Kevin’s brush of lips on his hand. “See you in five. Don’t leave without me.”

Connor’s only a little tempted to watch him go. Even in cargo shorts, Kevin looks good. That has to be illegal, right?

 

— — — — — — — —

 

Thankfully, the car is still packed with two people when they’re on the 25. This stretch is a long haul, but at least the sights are wonderful. Kevin is well and truly suited for being in a car like this, as long as he’s entertained, and with the radio mostly working and Connor to talk to and look at and admire and lo- and, and. And maybe he shouldn’t be cooped up in a car with Connor for nine hours at a time.

For a moment, he catches himself trying to shove down his affection, so he starts talking instead.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to watch Lion King the same ever again. Just saying.”

And Connor’s laugh, as always, is the cure for all things.

 

— — — — — — — —

 

Snow is beautiful hell.

While Kevin can easily admire it, he’s definitely not loving the way his heart lurches when their turns go just a little too far. They end up pulling into a crappy hotel for the night, and Kevin only flushes a lot when the person handing them their key grins. “Enjoy your bed, boys.”

“Th-thank you!” He blusters, then blushes deeper, because his voice cracked like a teenager’s. Connor is breaking up next to him in little giggles, but they somehow manage to find their room, dragging bags in with them. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s clean, and the water comes hot and clear through the tap when Kevin tests it. “I don’t think we’ll be eaten alive by bedbugs,” he says, and wanders back out of the bathroom.

He’s not prepared for Connor to be pulling his shirt off.

Letting go of some of the stress and anxiety has granted Connor some missing pounds, leaving him a little softer around the edges, and he’s covered in galaxies of freckles, darkened from their time in the sun. He never really picked up a tan, and what is there is in dorky tan lines, but… he’s beautiful.

With the sun lighting him, Connor almost looks angelic.

Kevin stares openly until Connor looks at him with a little smile, and then he bolts, back into the bathroom.

Despite the cool air, he’s sweating. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get that sight out of his head, and he’s entirely positive he doesn’t want to. Kevin huffs a few breaths to calm down, and when he finally feels strong enough to lean off the door without falling, he does- and just in time, because Connor opens the door.

“Hey, no dying on me yet,” the shirtless angel says, and Kevin has to nod, “I’m gonna take a shower, then you’re gonna take a shower, and then we’re gonna do something fun.” Kevin hopes he’s something fun. “Kev? Are you okay? Did I break you?” Connor’s playfully concerned voice gets Kevin to stop staring at the freckles on his collarbones, and he finally takes in the teasing smirk that’s killing him to death.

“I. Uh.” Kevin swallows, then shakes his head. “Shower. Yeah. What- what are we doing?” His voice cracks again, but he feels justified.

“You’re taking me out on a date to an arcade, and I’m going to beat you at Skee Ball.” Connor hip-checks him away, and, gosh, does Kevin like that, and the door gets shut with Kevin stranded by the bed.

It takes him a long moment to process everything, but then Kevin’s wearing the silliest grin of his life, and he falls gracelessly onto the bed, laughing loudly enough that the people in the next room knock on the wall. “I’m going on a date,” is all he says back, but brings down the volume, smiling at the spiderweb cracks running between the popcorned plaster on the ceiling.

 

— — — — — — — —

 

Kevin’s glad for the hoodies they picked up at Yellowstone- Denver is _cold,_ colder by far than he’s used to. They huff cold breaths over their gas station sweaters, and Connor chirps about how he’s glad he traded his visor for a beanie. Kevin pretends he doesn’t think it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. Ginger flips up over the dark fabric, and it’s sweet.

He wishes he got a hat, but no, he had to be cool. Well, now he’s cold.

Connor helps remedy this by holding his hand, and Kevin decides he could freeze if it meant Connor would warm him up.

Thankfully, though, he doesn’t turn into a Kevsicle immediately- not even when snow falls off the branch of a very seasonally confused tree and spatters in his hair. He only pouts deeply, especially since Connor can’t help but laugh at him, and shakes out his hair like a wet dog. It’s sweet revenge when Connor yelps.

The arcade is a little quiet from the snows, but it’s still open, and Connor is bright and cheerful in the evening sun. “Come on, it’s open for a couple hours! No time to waste, snowball,” he calls, pushing the door open. The greeter puts on their best fake smile, and Kevin only winces inwardly. It’s a familiar thing.

“Hi, there! Welcome to the 1-Up!” Kevin does his ‘nice to people’ smile back at them, and then wraps an arm around Connor. They check their ID’s and are easily let in, then Connor is dragging him determinedly to a source of racket- the dreaded Skee Ball.

“You know, it doesn’t seem like there’s prizes,” Kevin starts as he’a getting change, but Connor just shakes his head, stuffs his beanie in the pocket of his jacket.

“Oh, there’s definitely prizes.”

“Well, that’s cryptic, but okay.” Connor laughs sweetly, and not for the first time, Kevin wants to sweep him off his feet just like on the day of their first half-accidental kiss. It’s hard to resist, but he does, instead handing a fistful of coins to the ginger. “Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you,” he jokes.

The wicked grin Connor gives him should have tipped him off.

It’s a slaughter.

Kevin just doesn’t- he can’t- “It’s the balls, I think, they’re all different weights,” he protests half an hour later, when they’re sitting at the bar, both staring at the drink list uncertainly. Since they’re getting really wild, they both ordered a Coke, but it almost feels like they should try alcohol, sitting at a bar and all. “The balls are different weights, and I just couldn’t get the hang of it-”

“Kev, dear, you tried to pitch it.” Connor is watching him with a smile as he sips at the soda, and Kevin goes red, looking away. “You’ve never been to an arcade before?”

“No, I- I have. I’ve played Pac-Man, thank you very much,” he says, which gets Connor to laugh at him.

“What, should I beat you at that next, then?” Kevin stares at him, wounded, and sulks behind his glass.

“You are the worst date.”

“And yet you’re driving across the country with me. What, is it just my body that you like about me?” Connor’s teasing, joking, but.

“You _do_ have a nice body,” Kevin says, entirely honestly. It’s Connor’s turn to go pink around the ears, and it’s very, very cute. “You’re really cute.” Feeling bold, he rests his hand on Connor’s thigh, just above his knee. Not _that_ bold. He has limits. Limits that are being pushed farther and farther.

There’s a long moment of warm silence, before Connor softly asks, “You like _my_ body? Really?” Kevin blinks at him, and rubs his thumb in a lazy circle.

“Well, of course, Con. I like all of you. You’re… You’re my type, I guess? I just think you’re kinda incredible.” Kevin feels like he’s being sweet, and it’s supported by Connor’s smile, one that goes from excited to flirty in an amazing shift.

“Well, Kev, you did say you wanted to do something incredible.” Kevin blinks, as Connor’s smile grows a little wider, and he doesn’t really know what to call his expression except _wonderful,_ except _wanting._

“I, _uh-_ uh- _well-”_

And wonderful, lovely, amazing, incredible Connor beats him to it, somehow, because he tugs him closer by his scarf and presses their lips together.

_On purpose!_

Kevin melts into it almost immediately, all the things that ever told him he shouldn’t spend every second of his life kissing this boy going and fucking themselves. His hands ghost up to Connor’s waist, then cup his face, holding him there before he can pull away.

They only break apart when the bartender clears his throat, setting down a fresh coke, and they stare between him and each other- and all they can do is laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> das gay


	4. Chapter 4

It’s on the way back from the arcade that Kevin discovers he might be gayer than Connor. With him nestled into the column of his throat, Kevin’s mind is racing, dizzy and warm like there’s not snow on the hem of his slacks. They pass a gas station on the walk, with flowers in cheap vases, and something gets a hold on his soul, and he diverts easily from their path back to the hotel.

Connor’s as red as half the roses he’s cradling when they step back out. The bouquet is mixed, all bright yellows and reds, and there’s a blue ribbon pinning down the fancy paper. Kevin doesn’t know why there’s paper, but he’s not about to complain about the makeup of five dollar flowers today. Not when Connor keeps smiling at him, not since it netted him another kiss.

The walk is a blur from there, Kevin only really focused on the pure happiness radiating off them both. He doesn’t know the last time he was this happy- wait, of course he does. Or course he does.

“I haven’t felt like this since the first time you kissed me,” he says softly, like if he says it too loud the noise will break his heart. Even just saying it aloud, admitting it to the world and whatever deity is listening, is enough to make Kevin nearly drop his keys, hands shaking. He has to steal another kiss off Connor to be able to steel himself, and then they’re finally stumbling into the waiting warmth.

Connor doesn’t say anything back, and Kevin doesn’t need him to, not with the way the light reflects off his wide blue eyes. Not with the way his smile is brighter than the sun.

The flowers are set down gently, and Connor nods at them, before they’re standing, looking at each other.

Is it really any surprise that they're here? Doing this, being this? Being them?

Kevin doesn’t know why, but it’s _important_ to get their jackets off as fast as possible. It’s important enough that he pushes pass his uncertainty and steps closer to Connor, brushing his fingers against the shiny zipper, nervous frown plain. Connor smiles it away, though, reaches up to unzip Kevin’s jacket for him, and he’s surprisingly relieved. He doesn’t even jolt back into nerves when Connor pushes the stifling fabric off his shoulders, when his hand runs down his chest.

“Elder Kevin Price, I do believe I’m having gay thoughts,” he says, and even if Kevin wasn’t watching him closely, he couldn’t miss the teasing grin coating his words. It loosens him up a little, shoulders coming down from around his ears, and he even gives a soft, lower laugh that he didn’t think he could manage.

“Well, _Elder Connor McKinley,_ it seems to be catching.” Just because Kevin knows he can, he catches one of Connor’s hands before it trails away, and brings it up to his lips to kiss the palm. He revels in the little squeak that gets him. “Maybe we should do something about it.” He feels bold, and it’s _good-_ he’s making Connor smile, feel good. It’s all Kevin has the ability to worry about.

Just to follow the feeling, after Connor gets out of his own jacket Kevin curls an arm around his waist and dips him, followed by a kiss to his lips, to the peek of collarbone he can see above Connor’s shirt. Connor laughs with delight in his arms, bracing himself with both slung around his shoulders. _“Oh-_ maybe we should- you’re going to _drop me,_ Price, at least take me to bed before you try to ravage me.”

“…that sounds painful,” Kevin says, concerned. Connor laughs at him, and he frowns in confusion, continuing to nose along the speckled skin even after pulling him upright again.

“Kevin Price, I don’t think you’re capable of hurting me.” There’s no way he can argue with that, so Kevin just blows a raspberry into his skin instead, grinning at Connor’s yelp. Connor pushes him away, towards the bed, and he takes the opportunity to get out of his shoes and damp socks, before falling onto the bed with a content sigh. His eyes close as he basks in the warmth filling up his chest, sunlight chasing out the tar that felt like it was clinging to his lungs.

Speaking of the light of his life… Kevin blinks his eyes open when there’s warmth _on_ him, too, and pressure, and he’s greeted by a very pleased-looking Connor straddling his waist, leaned down close to him. “Oh,” he says intelligently, hands coming up but not knowing where to settle. It’s not like he particularly knows what he’s doing at all, anyways, he’s just doing what feels nice.

Going along with that, he rests a hand on Connor’s thigh, and the other cards through his messy hat-hair. Connor sighs happily at him, and Kevin wants to preen. Every pleased reaction is a truer victory than he’s ever known, better than any trophy he’s ever won. He stares up at Connor, and, like the piece of shit he is, says the first thing that comes to mind.

“You used to be in my hell dreams. It’d start- it’d start good, like this, but then you’d start- or you’d-” Kevin’s tripping over his words, but he doesn’t let himself grip at Connor, can’t even subconsciously hurt him. “Sometimes you’d just die on top of me, or you’d get shot-”

Connor leans down and cuts him off with a kiss, this one warmer and heavier and driving away the doubt in his mind. Kevin holds him close and kisses back, thankful he’s a fast learner, and even when it breaks so they can breathe, Connor doesn’t go anywhere, keeps their lips brushing. “I’m real. I’m right here. And so are… so are you. This is _good._ This is what we should be doing, or- or it wouldn’t make me so happy.”

Kevin leans up for a briefer, softer kiss, and the blinding sunlight that cast deep shadows in his soul intensifies to a sun that spreads light into every corner. “Connor, I- Con…”

“I’m here, Kev.”

He wonders if Connor can see it in him. If he can feel the burning heat that’s taking his breath away.

“I love you. I love you so, so much. I love you from Salt Lake City to Uganda. From Orlando to New York, and everything in between.”

The burn spreads, builds behind his eyes, and Kevin can only smile under his shaky, gasped breath.

“I really do love you.”

Connor’s not in much better shape above him, and the whimper that tinges his inhale is enough to make Kevin pull him close, roll them over so he can cradle him in his arms like a fortress. He strokes his hair slow and gentle, even if his fingers can’t stop shaking, and he feels Connor nod instead of seeing it. Kevin ignores the tears in his eyes to focus on Connor, wiping them away only to be greeted by his love’s own.

“Hey, don’t you cry… I’m trying not to, and I’ll start bawling if you do,” he jokingly threatens, before immediately shaking his head. Kevin hasn’t forgotten the words Connor said just after arriving. “No, I- cry if you need to. It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s okay if you don’t- if you don’t-”

Connor takes him up on the offer to cry, burying his face in Kevin’s shirt and letting out a quiet, giggly sob. “You’re- you’re acting like I’m _upset- No,_ no. No, I- I l- I-” Connor shakes his head, having to laugh-cry again, clinging all the closer. “I love you too, Kev, _of course_ I do!”

If the apocalypse happened right now, Kevin could live with it. If he no longer heard another word, he’d be fine- the last thing he’d have heard would be Connor McKinley, wonderful and precious Con, telling him he loves him like it should have been obvious from the start.

They spend the night like this, trading soft affections and quiet words, rarely moving outside of the shelter of each other’s arms. The rest of the world is a myth, the pain of their pasts a dead memory.

 

 

 

It’s late when Kevin says anything beyond barely whispered confessions of love, but neither of them are crying anymore, both of them smiling and certain. He thinks back to billboards he saw out the window, and rubs his hand under Connor’s shirt, still modestly on his waist. “You know, I saw a sign for a place where you can look for gems and keep them for yourself. Some people find some pretty dang big ones.”

“Mmm, yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, then, I know what our next date’s going to be, sweetheart.” Connor smiles at him, and Kevin kisses his forehead. “Where is it?”

“Arkansas. You ever been?”

“No… Gosh, that’s a hot state, isn’t it? That area’s always warm. Good thing we follow the Book of Arnold and you can take your shirt off…” Connor goes quiet after that, goes red, and Kevin finds himself in a gigglefit.

“You can just _ask_ me to take my shirt off. I mean, we did kinda make out for awhile…”

That makes Connor laugh, shake his head. “Oh, sweetheart, that wasn’t making out.”

“It wasn’t?” Kevin pauses, considering this. “…well, wanna show me what is?”

 _"Yes._ As long as you take your shirt off."

 

 

If Kevin’s stuck tiredly fumbling for awful hotel coffee with aching bruises around his neck the next morning, well.

It was more than worth it, and it shows in his smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> das real ghey


	5. Chapter 5

Every hour in Texas feels like twelve.

Going from the cold air of Denver to the stifling heat is a lot, and Kevin’s regretting their lack of AC more than he ever has, shirt sticking to his back and hands sticking to the fake leather of the wheel. It’d be insufferable if he wasn’t in love, he thinks- but he is.

Oh, god, he is.

Now that it’s been said, every glance at Connor is heartbreaking, every line of song that spills off his lips deserving of being recorded and listened to for the rest of eternity. He’s a beacon in the sun, even with his face cast in the shadow of his visor.

Kevin doesn’t really know how he manages to drive for as long as he does.

When they’re low on gas, he finally pulls off to an exit, and when he gets out, he realizes something very silly. He hasn’t been drinking water today, despite the scorching heat. He just forgot, with all his excitement.

His reminder comes in the fact that his legs tremble under him and he has to clutch onto the car, mindless of the heat. His eyes are wide as he hangs his head, and Connor leans over immediately, before whispering a curse and scrambling to the other side of the Honda.

“You’re strong,” Kevin mumbles tiredly, because Connor’s holding him up almost entirely as he fumbles open the backdoor.

“You’re an ass,” Connor informs him, and Kevin just nods, shaking as he gathers himself in the backseat, next to their luggage. He’s still sweating, he notes distantly, which means he’s probably not going to die. It’s bad when you stop sweating. Kevin nods along to this knowledge, staring at the bottle Connor’s holding. There’s noise around him, indistinct and fuzzy enough he can’t understand it, but he doesn’t care.

Bottle.

Water?

As soon as the thought passes from one half of his brain to the other, Kevin surges into action, clumsy as he tries to get the lid off and resorts to using his teeth, and then he’s chugging it down. He knows water’s spilling down his chin, making a mess of his shirt, but he finds it hard to care. Connor has to take it from him before he gags, and he hears a pitiful whine-

Was that him?

Oh.

That brings Kevin back to himself with a suddenness that leaves him reeling, like a punch in the teeth, and he stares up at Connor, who looks concerned. “Are you okay, Kev? I’ve- I’ve been talking, you weren’t saying anything, and that’s not like you,” he laughs nervously, and Kevin just nods a little, brain still rotating on an axis that’s misaligned with the rest of the world.

For a moment, he’s a child again, wheezing and crying from exhaustion as he slumps on a Disney World bench, his parents fanning him and telling him to get up, he’s causing a scene, it’s only a hundred degrees out, champ-

And then he reaches up and gently takes the bottle from Connor, taking more measured swallows until there’s nothing left and it feels like he can breathe enough to talk.

“I- I’m okay. Or, I will- Can you get one of the hotel towels and get it damp? And some more water?” Kevin puts on a brave smile, and Connor kisses his sweaty cheek, pushes wet hair out of his face.

“Get your shoes and socks off while I’m gone and get comfortable, okay? You’ll cool off some. I’ll only be gone a minute,” he promises. Kevin’s smile grows in the face of Connor’s kindness, and he brushes his hand against the one drawing away.

“I’ll be okay,” he says firmly, because he will. Connor nods back at him and closes the door, and Kevin goes about getting rid of his shoes, sighing out peacefully as less heat is trapped against his skin. It only feels like a second before Connor returns, but it still makes his heart do flips to look at him again. “You’re really pretty, Con,” Kevin says, even while Connor is wiping away the sweat and tucking the towel around his neck.

“And you’re hot when you’re delirious with heat exhaustion,” Connor laughs, handing him a fresh bottle of water. “I’m gonna drive until you stop swaying, got it? I love you, Kevin, but I’m not letting you kill me on our road trip.” Kevin blinks, because that was a lot of words, and he has to break them down. He’s swaying? Oh, he is, actually. He tries to stop, but that makes him feel sick, and, man, he really doesn’t want to be sick.

Eventually, though, he nods his agreement, leaning up to give Connor a soft kiss. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how hot you are, so I didn’t make sure to cool off around you.” A beat, and Kevin frowns. “That sounded a lot better in my head.” Connor laughs, though, so it can’t be that bad.

“You’re a dork. Close your eyes for a bit if you need to, okay? I found a tape in there, so I’ll keep myself entertained.” Connor closes the door on him again, and Kevin does close his eyes. He wonders how bad he’s actually doing- after all, he can hear Johnny Cash coming over their radio. It’s soothing, though, and Kevin finds himself dozing off after drinking a little more water.

 

— — — — — — — —

 

It turns out, he wasn’t just hearing things. When Kevin wakes up, the sun has moved across the sky some, there’s a bag of food in his lap, and Connor is singing along to _Walk the Line._ For a moment, he thinks he’s still asleep, but they hit a bump and he yelps and Connor laughs at him, and, no, this is real life.

Connor says something, but Kevin can’t hear him over the radio, so it gets turned down and he tries again. “Hey, sleepyhead. How are you doing? Got you a burger if you’re hungry.” Oh, fuck, he is hungry. Kevin starts unwrapping the lukewarm burger happily, the frantic desperation for life-giving nutrients faded significantly.

“I feel… well, I’m not dying anymore, that’s for sure. Sorry to pass out on you, Con,” he mumbles, just before taking a big bite. Connor gives him a smile in the mirror, and Kevin feels lighter inside.

“I did the same thing in my first month in Uganda. I was asleep for a day, Kev, you’re doing fine. Though I’m surprised you’re not more used to the heat!”

Kevin chews a little faster and swallows, going for water to clear his throat. He’s glad for the ‘privacy’ of the backseat, so he can blush and not seem quite as sheepish when he says, “I was distracted and I forgot to drink, alright?”

“Hm,” says Connor, and Kevin can’t make himself look in the mirror. “Hmmmm?”

“C’mon, Con… alright, alright, I was too busy thinking about you to be a reasonable human being. Happy?”

“Well, as happy as anyone can be when they almost kill their boyfriend with their stunning good looks. I’m sure you’ve been just as pleased every time I tripped over myself staring at you.”

Kevin’s sheepish grin turns smug, and he’s about to say something, but Connor adds, “Though, I’m surprised you weren’t chugging more water, considering how thirsty you are, Elder Price.”

He rests his forehead against the car seat and groans, as Connor makes a momentous step in the field of teasing, by smugly singing along to Johnny Cash.

Kevin smiles anyways, where Connor can’t see.

Confidence is attractive on him, and Kevin’s so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to drink water when you're gay, kids


	6. Chapter 6

They don’t quite make it to digging for diamonds when they arrive in Arkansas. The sun is already setting when Kevin, back in the driver’s seat, pulls into town, so they make the collective decision to snag another cheap hotel and go the next day.

Thankfully, people are less likely to glare at an obviously gay couple in a crap hotel than in a snotty one. Connor still clings close to Kevin’s side, though, fearful determination keeping the two of them inseparable. Kevin keeps his chin up and puts on his good Mormon smile until the door of their room closes, but then he just slumps and gives a real one to Connor, eyes tired and full of unending fondness.

Connor smiles back at him as he drags his suitcase to a spot where he can root through it, and Kevin’s a little curious. Connor’s using the same suitcase he had in Uganda, pink and sparkly, and he comes closer, peering at the previously hidden contents.

He’s not sure what to make of the vials and needles that are uncovered when Connor picks up a shirt to change into. Kevin must make a noise, because suddenly the ginger looks at him, all wide eyes and worry.

Kevin looks back at him, with a concerned frown.

“…are you doing drugs?” He asks slowly, and Connor puts his face in his hand. “Because, you know, I know we follow the Book of Arnold, but I really can’t recommend-”

 _“No,_ Kevin, I’m not doing drugs. Well. These are… pharmaceutical in nature. Not exactly recreational…” Kevin’s frown grows, and he touches Connor’s shaking shoulder, crouching beside him. He doesn’t expect Connor to throw himself into his arms, but he absolutely accepts it, holding him close.

“Are you… are you sick? Do you need to go to the hospital, or. Or anything?” Connor hesitates for a long moment before shaking his head, burying his face in Kevin’s shoulder.

“I- I’m- it’s testosterone. I’m trans. I’m-” His voice goes desperately firm, even muffled in Kevin’s shirt, and it breaks his heart to hear, “I’m a gay trans boy and probably the worst-” So he doesn’t let that pain go down that road.

“No,” Kevin says strongly. Connor recoils with fear, but Kevin’s hands are still gentle as one strokes through ginger hair. “You’re a gay trans boy and absolutely the best _everything.”_

Connor’s eyes are so big, so blue, and Kevin presses a kiss between them on his forehead. “Is there anything you need from me? Any- any help? Have I done anything you don’t like, or- or do I need to beat someone up, because I’ll do it, I’ll put up my dukes.”

“Put up your dukes…” There’s a soft laugh that makes Kevin relax, and Connor rests his head against him again. “No, Kevin. You’re perfect. You’ve- you’ve been what I’ve always wanted from anyone. Just don’t change what you’re doing at all, and it’ll be amazing forever.”

Kevin nods eagerly, rubbing his back. Sure, he doesn’t know anything about trans stuff, but he can look it up. Or call and ask Arnold. He’d do anything to make Connor sound that happy forever, after all.

“I love you, Con,” he says easily, and it’s as natural as breathing to brighten under Connor’s wide smile, under the warm weight of his body pressed against him. Kevin squeezes him close, presses a kiss to his hairline. “So much. I don’t even know the words to tell you. I…”

“You..?” Connor pulls back just enough to look at him, and Kevin frowns in thought, touching the hem of his shirt.

“There’s something I want to do, but I don’t… I don’t know how to say it without sounding really, uh… uh. Like, horny? And that’s not it, it’s not-” Kevin frowns more at how the words feel on his lips, and it deepens with the fact that Connor is now cracking up, one hand clasped over his mouth as he snorts and wheezes. It’s hard not to laugh, though, and he succumbs to it too, clutching a little at Connor so neither of them fall with it.

Connor eventually gasps his way to something like breathing, and says, “I love you too, but. Never say the word horny again with that face, oh em _gosh!”_

“Con,” Kevin whines, “I’m _trying_ to be nice, I- I want to touch you.” Connor quirks an eyebrow, opens his mouth, but Kevin blusters his way into more words. “Not, not ne _cessarily_ like _that-_ I mean I wouldn’t be _against_ it, you’re really pretty and, and, and everything, but, just.” He shakes his head and runs a hand over Connor’s front cautiously, rubs his hip. “I want to touch you. And maybe kiss you some more, like- like you did,” Kevin mumbles, hand coming back up to touch over one of the still-present hickeys. “I just. It sounds… nice?”

There’s a pause where it’s evident Connor is trying to process what Kevin’s asking for, but then he slowly nods, breaks into a smile that reminds Kevin of the dawn in Yellowstone. “…it does sound nice. Do I get to touch you too, or are you the only one who gets to do any feeling-up?” Kevin makes a face at the phrasing, shivering a little.

“You’re making me sound dirty. Eugh. But, but, you can touch me! I’m always on board for you to touch me. Your hands are… nice. Gentle,” he says softer, taking one in his own. He lifts it to press a kiss to a prominent freckle on Connor’s knuckle, and smiles at him. “So- so, do you want to…?”

Connor doesn’t answer directly, but the message is pretty clear when he toes out of his shoes and socks and takes a seat on the bed. He pats the space next to him, and Kevin immediately comes over, stumbling over his own shoes in his eagerness. “You’re like a puppy, Price- I’m not going anywhere,” Connor promises quietly, leaning to kiss along his jaw.

Kevin watches as the Connor starts to take his own shirt off, then shakes his head a little and takes over, gently pushing his hands away to slide it up and away. “Oh,” breathes Connor, but he doesn’t try to take back over, just shifts so Kevin has better access to admire him.

They’re both sweaty and tired and a little grungy, but Connor is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in the pale yellow light, highlighted by the grey-blue blankets underneath. Kevin has to sit back an just stare at him, until the urge to touch is too great, and he comes to settle at his side, fingers tracing along his collarbones.

Connor tsks at him, and Kevin stares in confusion and worry, before going ‘oh’ and pulling off his own shirt. “Much better,” comes the praise, and Kevin blushes slightly, preening.

He has a thought, looking at Connor, and hesitates. “Is it okay to- to touch your chest?” Connor smiles back at him with a soft kind of relief, before nodding.

“I’ve been on blockers since fourth grade. I have about as much in the way of breasts as you do, Kev. Now hurry up and touch me, you big gay baby.” The joke is only slightly stilted, Connor unused to making them in a friendly, affectionate manner, but Kevin laughs and obliges all the same.

His touch is light, curious, and he trails it from one shoulder to the other, then down Connor’s sternum. There’s freckles everywhere, and Kevin understands the appeal in splattery paintings now. He could get lost in just staring at the different shapes they come together to make, fingers tracing from big to little to nearly invisible and to big again.

At first, he shies away from being too handsy, but he works up his courage and smooths his palm over Connor’s heart. Connor hums warmly and Kevin can feel it, vibrating like life itself, and he ducks his head to press a soft kiss to his speckled skin. There’s a soft noise above him, and he pauses to look at Connor, but Connor just smiles at him and that’s more than enough encouragement.

As he leaves more and more soft kisses, Connor winds long fingers into his hair, stroking across his scalp. “You’re beautiful too, Kevin,“ he says so softly, and Kevin leans closer to him, nosing along the middle of his chest. ”Absolutely perfect. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as incredible as you, but- ah,“ he sighs, as Kevin Price gives his first hickey, ”I’m so _thankful…“_

Kevin runs his hand flat over Connor’s stomach, enjoys the soft give while making sure not to make him laugh. "You deserve a lot more than this, and I- I'll do my best. To, to, you know, to give it to you." He just wants to kiss every inch Connor will let him see, bathe his skin in love that’s been withheld for far too long.

When he slides back up, he’s caught in a kiss, warmer and deeper than the ones they’d shared so far today.

 

 

They decide to stay in town for an extra day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, connor's trans. and he's gay. and he's amazing. and that's all you need to know


	7. Chapter 7

Digging for diamonds is not glamorous. Sure, the potential payoff is wonderful, but Kevin’s face still hurts from when he tripped over a hole and bellyflopped into the dirt.

Sure, it’s his pride wounded more than anything else, but still.

Connor is still giggling at him right up until he pulls off his shirt to wipe his face, and Kevin basks in the blush-filled silence, smiling where it’s hidden. He dusts himself off after, and Connor’s laughter is reduced to occasional little chuckles when Kevin dusts dirt out of his hair.

“Let’s try over here, I think I saw something?” Connor has a hand on his arm, and Kevin would follow him anywhere, so of course.

Of _course_ he just says, “Yeah, sure, Con.” He’s led to an area where the dirt is looser, and for awhile, they get lost in just digging around like the kids they rarely got a chance to be.

For the most part, all that turns up are plain rocks and less precious gems, but as the sun hangs heavy in the sky, Connor makes a surprised noise beside Kevin, and surges forward, grabbing something out of the dirt. “What’s up?” Kevin asks, but then Connor is bouncing on his dirty knees, smiling widely and holding up something shiny and yellow.

“I found one!” He says happily, and looks at it closer before handing it to Kevin. Kevin looks at it closely- it’s very, _very_ yellow, shiny and close to clear, and it’s undeniably a diamond. He can’t help but beam at it, looking between the gem and Connor.

“You did! Look at that, gosh. Look at that.” Kevin runs his finger across the diamond, just admiring it. Somewhere in his mind, he thinks about it being wrapped up in white gold, settled onto long fingers— he jolts so hard he almost drops the diamond, surprised by his own thoughts, and Connor blinks at him.

“You okay?” He asks, sweet and soft, and that does _not_ help Kevin’s jittery hands.

Kevin smiles all the same, though, leans over to kiss Connor, and gosh that’s a nice thing that he can just do. He gets to kiss Connor McKinley whenever he wants! Well, not whenever he wants, because that would be every moment of every single day. Connor laughs against his lips, and Kevin rubs his dirty forehead on him, joining in with the giggle.

“I’m always okay when I’m with you, Con.”

 

— — — — — — —

 

They’re in a small town outside of Memphis, after picking a new shitty hotel, when Kevin feels brave. It’s something in the air, he thinks- the drawn out sunset, the humidity making his shirt stick to his back, the hazy lull of the cars driving past… There’s something that puts a heart in his chest, and Kevin glances at Connor.

“You know, we’re twenty-one, the both of us.” Connor blinks, then looks up at him, arms crossed over his chest. He’s been staring down at the empty, dirty pool, lost in whatever thoughts live under the ginger mop, and Kevin thinks he’s pretty cute like that. “We could go get a drink. It’s not like we’re gonna drive anymore tonight.”

There’s a long, quiet hum that signals Connor’s thinking, and Kevin waits patiently, looking out at the sky that’s purpling like the hickeys covering his body. He even rubs his thumb over one peeking over the strap of his tank top, humming along with contentment. “Yeah, okay,” Connor finally says, soft but sure. “The Book of Arnold certainly doesn’t forbid a responsible drink now and then.” Kevin grins- he knows Arnold wrote that in because he was curious about alcohol- and Connor joins in, like they’re sharing a dirty secret.

It’s nice to know that, really, there are no secrets anymore.

So that’s how they find themselves leaned against the wall of a building that Kevin does not remember the name of, each of them fuzzy-headed with one and a half beers, because neither of them wanted to say they got drunk off of just one beer, and at least then they could round it up to two.

Night’s truly fallen, now, and the yellow light washing over them dances with the small moths fluttering around the exposed bulb. Connor’s talking next to Kevin, and he tunes back in. He’s only missed a sentence or so, he thinks.

“-and, you know, part of me felt guilty for being gay and trans, because if I wasn’t trans, then I wouldn’t be _gay,_ you know. But, but I’m a hotter guy than I would have been a girl, I think, so it worked out for the best.” Connor goes quiet for a long moment, then laughs sweetly, scooting closer to Kevin, who puts a hand on his shoulder automatically.

“I think, I think that you are exactly what you’re supposed to be. A cute gay trans guy, my boyfriend, the first district leader for the Church of Arnold. All of that. You’re… _fuck,_ Con. You’re the perfect Connor McKinley.” Kevin earns a kiss for that one, and he smiles like a dope, feeling goofy and warm inside and out.

Connor wriggles close, close enough that Kevin can smell the alcohol and fruit on his breath, and he can’t help but lean down to kiss him some more. “You even taste perfect,” he says, oozing contentment, and Connor nudges him with a little laugh.

“You’re silly. You are a silly boy, Kevin Price. Kevin Price. Gosh. I can’t believe anyone ever made me feel bad for liking boys, because you’re a boy and you’re the best. You’re the best, silliest boy. Everyone was right when they said you were perfect, but I think that my reasons and their reasons are different, a little bit.” Kevin can’t stop smiling, watching Connor’s hands fumble with what he’s saying. Compliments have always made him light up- it’s why he stayed the good Mormon boy for so long, because he was _good-_ but they’re the best from Connor.

“I think you found the perfect diamond,” he says lazily, causing Connor to look at him. “It looks like you. Like, like sunshine. Bright yellow sunshine. I’m glad you’re not all grey skies anymore, Con. I love sunshine Connor a lot. He’s an incredible, sweet, hot-” Kevin laughs into the kiss that he’s cut off with, bracing his hand on Connor’s back to keep him from falling over onto the harsh asphalt of the parking lot.

They stay like that a long time, lazing in the warm night. The stars pop into view overhead, weak and scattered, but Kevin’s busy tracing the ones on Connor’s pale skin, bolder now with the days of sunlight in less clothes. “You have freckles on your knees,” he says, just before leaning over to kiss one, and Connor laughs so hard he almost knees him in the nose.

Kevin just slumps against him and laughs along with a sort of childish glee, nosing up to his neck and jaw. “You have freckles everywhere. More stars than in the sky,” he mumbles, and Connor kisses his messy hair. “It’s not fair that you get to be the sun and the stars.”

“The sun is a star,” Connor says wisely, and Kevin mulls this over for a long minute.

“…fuck, you got me there,” he says, then covers his mouth with a little gasp. “I said another fuck-word- FUCK, I mean, a swear, shit, I’m _never_ gonna get Planet Orlando like this.” He can’t help but grin, betraying his joke, and then they’re laughing again, curled up against each other closely.

Eventually, they stumble to the hotel, though. Even tipsy ex-Mormons know better than to pass out in a random parking lot in Tennessee. They’re just as inseparable in the worn out bed, half-dressed and clingy, because they can be.

They’ve rewritten the rules of perfection, as the old ones were wanting.

Perfection is a gay trans boy, soft around the edges and warm at his centre.

Perfection is a gay Mormon boy, longing to please and doing so more than he knows.

Perfection is a pair of boys wrapped together in tin sheets, halfway to the end of their journey and drowning in starlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this was a fuck to write, but i got it out, depression be damned  
> check me out over at demon-price for art of this and good posts


	8. Chapter 8

Kevin learns a few things, watching Connor from the passenger seat of their shitty car; like the fact that he doesn’t always use both hands on the wheel, and that his fingers are all chewed up around the edges, and that he falls into a sort of trance when he sings, bright eyed and soft and beautiful. Kevin thinks that maybe he spends too long staring at Connor, but he never regrets a moment.

It does mean, however, that he’s completely surprised when he realises they’re pulling into a gas station. He peers at the gas meter- he thought they were doing okay, and they are, so he just looks to his boyfriend for answer. Connor has this smile he gets when he’s getting ready to break a rule, and it’s on full display now, panic covered up by courage and determination.

“I,” he announces, “Am going to guy buy some scratchoffs. Want one?” Kevin blinks in confusion, before he looks at the window of the station, and sure enough, there’s a bunch of scratch lottery cards on display.

“But-” he starts, then stops. _But we’re not allowed,_ he was going to say, but Connor’s hand is on his and his lips still sting and- “Sure, get us both a couple,” Kevin decides boldly, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I’ll get a coffee.” Connor’s smile widens, and he feels like he’s made the right choices in life, if he can do anything to make this wonderful man smile.

Kevin’s grown fond of awful gas station coffee, somewhere between Denver and Arkansas. While, sure, he’d prefer something real like Starbucks, there’s something about too hot, just barely stale coffee that makes this all feel more real. He warms his hands through the cardboard cup, sleeved to stave off burns, as Connor shows his ID to the nice lady behind the counter.

When she smiles a little too much at him, Kevin comes over to kiss Connor’s jaw, pointing at a particularly colourful card. “Let’s get a couple of those, yeah, sweetheart?” Connor blushes and laughs, and the nice lady busies herself with getting the scratch-offs.

“You know, that was completely unnecessary,” he’s informed when they’re sitting in the warm car, and Kevin smiles into his coffee. “I didn’t even know you’re the jealous type, Price.” Connor says, raising an eyebrow at him as he fishes up a coin.

“Oh, only sometimes. It seems to come up most with ginger, freckled, adorable Ex-Mormons, I don’t really know why.” Kevin laughs harder at Connor’s exasperated huff, since it’s smoothed around the edges by a thoughtful smile.

There’s an easy silence, then, aside from the scraping of the coin and Kevin blowing on his steaming coffee. Connor hums softly to fill it, and it’s nice. It’s calm, until the coin drops noisily to the centre console, and Kevin looks over.

Connor’s staring at the card with wide blue eyes, and Kevin frowns, putting the lid on his coffee before setting it to the side, reaching out to touch him. “Are you okay, Con?” Connor stares at him some instead, still seeming stunned. Gently, Kevin tugs the card out of his hands to look at it, and suddenly there’s two stunned boys in the car.

Sure, it’s not the top prize, but this tiny square of paper is worth five hundred dollars all of a sudden, and neither of them know how to deal with that.

— — — — — — —

They’re still grinning as they drive through one of the only big cities in Alabama, Kevin taking the wheel since Connor’s hands were shaking. Five hundred dollars is more than Orlando taken care of for five dollars, and that’s a bit exciting for two tired boys, after all. It’s in the city, gassing up, that Kevin finds a brochure for a campsite only an hour or two away.

He’s never heard of the town, but that’s true of half the places they’ve passed through, so he doesn’t care that much. Kevin brings it back and Connor just nods, so they change the directions. “Noccalula Falls, huh? I hope the falls are pretty,” Connor says thoughtfully. “It says it’s for camping- we don’t have a tent. Should we get a tent?”

“Nah. I’m, personally, way too lazy to drive there and set up a tent today.” Connor frowns a little, but Kevin smiles, tapping on the brochure. “We’re gonna get a _cabin.”_ That brings the smile back in force, and Kevin gains an armful of laughing boyfriend, so he’s pretty pleased with himself, honestly. Sure, it means they’ll be in Alabama a while longer, but that’s fine. Kevin, for once in his life, isn’t rushed.

He just wants to spend the rest of his life smiling at Connor. It doesn’t matter where they go.

“You’re Orlando,” Kevin blurts out, and Connor looks at him, confused. “I- I mean-

“Orlando was my happy place and my home and where I wanted to be to be happy again, but- you’re Orlando now. Everywhere is Orlando if you’re with me.” Connor, thankfully, gets it. At least, Kevin thinks so, because he’s smiling so big, and then they’re kissing in a gas station parking lot in Alabama.

He’s so glad they’re going to be in a cabin.

— — — — — — — —

Gadsden is a nothing town, but it’s not an awful one. Dull, quiet, hiding a beautiful waterfall. After dropping their stuff off at the cabin, which is frankly too big for two people, they wander about in the warm sunset, sipping milkshakes and feeding the flock of ducks. “I heard somewhere groups of ducks are called rafts,” Connor says idly, jumping a little as one of the ducks takes feed from his hand.

“Why can’t all birds just be flocks? It’d be a lot easier.” Kevin absolutely takes pictures of Connor’s nervous smile, setting one immediately as his lock screen. There’s a little laugh, and Connor glances up at him.

“It’s better than a murder, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m still gonna call them a flock,” he grumbles, taking a seat by Connor on the rocks. The river rushes past, and Kevin watches the foam rise where it hits the cliff. It’s a noisy kind of peaceful, and he thinks he could live here… if it weren’t for the occasional glares being thrown at their overlapping hands. He almost lifts his hand, but Connor tangles their fingers together, giving him a little smile.

“You always look pretty in sunsets. The light makes your eyes look like amber… it’s good. You’re pretty,” Connor says softly, and seems to gain confidence from there. “And your hair looks better messy than smoothed down. And, and when you did that thing, where your tie was loose and your collar was all messed up, that was hot, and when you smile for real, like… like you are right now, it’s pretty.” Because Kevin is smiling, so wide and genuine it hurts his heart.

After a kiss, they go back to feeding the flock- raft- _flock_ of ducks, and Kevin doesn’t even notice people look at him when he noses along Connor’s neck and sighs like the happiest man on earth.

— — — — — — —

The cabin, while too big, is still nice. It’s nice, for once, to be alone and settled and relaxed. It means Connor can lean against him on the couch and they can watch TV and there’s nothing dangerous coming for them. There’s nothing wrong, everything is _clean._ It’s good to have their own space.

While they relax, Kevin rests his head on Connor’s, sighing out.

“You’re doing your thinking sigh,” Connor informs him, and Kevin laughs softly.

“It’s good thinking, I promise. I just…” Kevin tilts his head to kiss ginger hair, and Connor chuckles up at him. “I could get used to this whole living with you thing, Con. Wherever we end up, I wanna end up with you. If… if that’s what you want.”

There’s a sweet noise, and Connor leans up, curled in closer so he can press a little kiss to the edge of Kevin’s lips.

“Of course I want that, Kev. It’s why I came with you.” Kevin pulls him up close and kisses him like every romance novel describes, full of heart and love and longing.

And, with such relief, it’s returned just as fiercely.


	9. Chapter 9

Sleeping in is Kevin’s new favourite rule-break.

It’s a lot more fun to slowly wake up as the sun warms their rented bed, especially since Connor grunts in annoyance and buries his face in his chest to avoid the growing light. Kevin doesn’t get him up right away, doesn’t see any reason to when he has all the sights he needs right here. The warmth is something he chooses to just deal with.

But, eventually his arm cramps, and Kevin is only so strong a man. He wriggles out from under Connor weakly, and a noise of complaint goes up, chewed fingers running along his chest. “Didn’t say you could go yet, Kev,” he mumbles, and Kevin flops against the bed, defeated with only words.

“I was gonna make us coffee, though.” Connor hums shortly, leaning up to give him a short kiss before freeing him.

“Fine, leave me for your caffeinated mistress. I always knew you loved her more than me.” They both laugh as Kevin stumbles out of bed, the wooden floor cold on his one bare foot. He stares down at it in quiet confusion, head tilting.

“I’m missing a sock,” he says, then looks down at his chest, his lack of sleep pants. “Wait.” The dial from confusion to understanding gets flipped, and Kevin’s flush spreads down his shoulders while Connor laughs behind him.

The missing sock gets tossed past his head, and he retrieves it on his way to the kitchen, escaping Connor’s call of, “You’re certainly sharp in the morning, Price!”

Kevin just huffs, but it fades into a fond, hidden smile. It’s hard to be anything but delighted with Connor at any time, and now is no exception. He’s still smiling as he puts together the coffee, as he shambles off for a fast shower.

After the five minute showers of Uganda, he’s still not used to lingering- heck, even before all of that, he rarely indulged in long showers. It just seemed… wasteful. Kevin stares at himself in the half-fogged mirror when he steps out, stares at the man he’s not sure he would have recognised as himself before his mission.

His smile is tired but genuine, his hair falls just too long and messy- and that’s not even taking the scattered bruises littering his chest into account. Kevin startles himself by laughing, and that’s another change, isn’t it?

He laughs so often, now.

Kevin wanders out to the kitchen in only his shorts, socks forgone for now, and he’s greeted by music and tapping feet and the smell of coffee. Connor is bouncing along to the broken up tunes, and he only laughs and slumps when Kevin wraps his arms around him, tucks his chin over his shoulder.

“You’re cute when you dance,” he says, low and warm, and Connor turns to face him, leans up on his toes to kiss him softly. Kevin could get used to this kind of life. Just Connor and him, living somewhere.

Being _alive_ together.

Kevin sways along to the tune on the radio, keeping Connor close to him. Connor isn’t one to complain about being held against a half-naked hot boy, so he curls his arms around Kevin’s neck, before mussing up his hair gently. “You’re in a good mood,” Connor comments, and Kevin grins at him cheerfully.

“I’m with you.” Neither of them are quite prepared for that level of honesty, but Kevin adds a little, “I’m always happy if you’re here,” before gently letting go when an ad comes on the radio. “You want a cup?”

Connor’s quiet for a moment, but he smiles all the same, leaning against the counter. He’s able to openly admire for once, so he’s going to. “Yes, please.”

— — — — — —

Coffee carries them through what was almost a completely lazy morning, and as the sun starts to climb in the sky, Kevin finds himself in the light of it, stutter-stepping his way down a rocky hill. “How’d I let you rope me into hiking?” Connor asks, but Kevin laughs him off.

“Like you didn’t want to get closer to the falls. when you saw it. It’s sunny, we might see a rainbow,” he croons up, even if it falters when his shoes slide an inch on the loose gravel. “If I don’t die first,” Kevin amends under his breath.

It’s nice, though. There’s not too many people out during the week, and the only people around seem to be on the other side of the trail. As soon as the ground evens out, it’s much better, and Kevin’s courage picks up- of course he’s great at hiking, he’s great at everything!

Connor leads him slightly off the trail, eventually, with a, “Come on, I’ve got a good feeling about this way,” and they wind up out on a big, flat rock. Sure enough, from this angle they can see the falls, and the light hits the spray with a lovely, glimmering rainbow. Kevin takes a seat- after making sure he’s not gonna ruin his shorts- and lightly tugs Connor down to meet him.

It’s quiet, for a long time.

There’s only the call of birds and the soft roar of the falls, and Connor’s warm hand on his own.

Kevin, of course, is the one to break it, because he’s excellent at breaking silences. Only the warm ones, though.

“I think this is better than Orlando, actually,” he says softly, and he doesn’t turn to look when Connor shifts.

“I- why do you- I thought it was your favourite place?” Connor sounds endlessly fragile, hopeful, like he’s waiting for something. Like he knows what Kevin’s going to say.

“Well… it is. It was, I mean…” Kevin closes his eyes in the warm light, and Connor thinks that no human has ever looked more divine. That thought is quickly proven wrong, though, because Kevin looks at him once he has his words in order, and the light that makes his hair seem laced with gold turns his eyes nearly amber, and it takes all the breath out of him.

“It was my favourite place, until my favourite place became anywhere that I’m with you, Connor.”

And inevitably, fatefully, wonderfully, they collapse into each other, clutching on like none of the rest of the world could possibly matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im slow because i have depression but have some more


	10. Chapter 10

It’s almost hard to get back in the car.

Every stop, it’s harder and harder to leave.

It’s like Connor is cutting roots from his skin, every time they pile in their little car, luggage getting more messy, seats more familiar. The only thing that stays the same is Kevin.

And, gosh, that’s enough.

Connor loves to watch him drive, because he gets peaceful after long enough, and watching Kevin be not a stressed, wire-taut mess is a blessing. With the windows cracked, the wind catches the soft swoop of his hair, and suddenly the exhausted shadow of age melts off of him, revealing him for the kid they both are. He’s the sunset, bright and warm and a reminder that this too shall pass.

As always, he’s holding onto one of Kevin’s hands, the one not making sure they stay on the endless highway. As they go further south, the air is getting slowly tinged with humidity, with salt, and something’s waking up in Kevin.

Connor just wishes it was something he knew.

Kevin only starts cracking apart when they’re in Florida. Connor doesn’t realise it immediately, something he’ll feel bad for later- Kevin just looks tired, at first, but he holds up his smile.

It’s when his breath starts hitching and his hand twitches away from Connor’s lazy hold that it’s too apparent, far too apparent, far too obvious, how did he miss this?

Kevin is crying.

 

— — — — — — —

 

It’s only early afternoon when they pull into a hastily found, empty parking lot. The building nearby claims that it used to be a K-Mart, and Connor decides to thank God for this chain slowly going under, because there’s no one around and Kevin needs that right now.

He’s hauled the lanky boy into the back of the car, and Kevin’s wheezing against the crumpled collar of his shirt, wheezing between quiet sobs and fragmented syllables.

Connor doesn’t know what to do, what to say, so he just strokes through his hair and holds him close and pretends that he can protect Kevin from whatever’s plaguing him.

They don’t talk for a long time. Connor loses track, too busy counting the moments between Kevin’s wrenched breaths, making sure another inhale comes.

And then Kevin’s words seem to return all at once, his voice too high and loud and panicked. “I don’t wanna go back I don’t wanna go back I don’t wanna go back-” and Connor’s worried, because a Kevin that doesn’t want to go back to Orlando is _deeply_ fractured, but then he’s louder, pleading, “-I don’t wanna go back home I don’t wanna go back to them they’ll take you away, Con, they’ll take me away and I’ll have to be Elder Price again and I can’t, I can’t!”

There’s a painful moment where Connor just can’t understand what’s wrong. Kevin’s words don’t fall back together in a way that makes sense… until they do.

He went to Orlando with his family. On a road trip. Road trips are often round-trip, not one way.

Connor holds him closer, and Kevin responds by clinging on so tight that he’s gonna have more bruises than the soft ones that are already fading. He doesn’t complain, though, just shakes his head and kisses dark hair and keeps him from shaking himself into a million pieces.

“You aren’t going _anywhere_ without me. It’s you and me, Kev. Kevin…” He trails off when Kevin whimpers and nods, only picking up again when his hands tense. “I love you. I want to- I want to live with you. I want to spend every morning looking at you until you wake up, and I’m not going to- I’m not going to let anyone take that away from me, especially not some old f- _fucks_ that don’t know how great a son they lost.”

Connor’s breath gets knocked out of him when Kevin holds him tighter, but it doesn’t last long, Kevin loosening so he can look up, touch Connor’s face, kiss him. It’s messy and off-centre and undeniably Kevin, and Connor can only sag in relief, leaning into the kiss and rubbing a hand down the ridges of his spine.

“I’m not gonna let anyone take you away, Kevin. You’re Kevin Price, and I love you,” he whispers, and Kevin makes a soft little noise, the shudders leaving his breath at last.

“I love you too, Con.” Kevin looks tired, but much happier, so Connor supposes he’s doing the right thing by him. He smiles, and gets one in return, before sitting up a little.

“Why don’t I drive us into Orlando? It’s not far now, and if I can miss Disney in a swamp state, I’m truly hopeless.” Connor’s smile grows when Kevin laughs at his self deprecation, and then nods.

Kevin has his mouth open to say something when a lilted, off-key _’I am here for you’_ comes from the front of the car. Connor blinks in confusion while Kevin bolts, until he places the voice.

Arnold Cunningham.

“Arnold! Hey!” The misery is out of Kevin’s voice, but he immediately winces as Arnold responds.

“HI BEST FRIEND,” is shouted through the phone, likely audible in Utah, followed by a quick addition of, “HI CONNOR!!!” before Kevin laughs and hushes him. Connor chirps a hello, though, which gives Kevin time to clear his throat and get rid of the roughness of crying.

“Hey, hey buddy! Yeah, we- I know it’s been awhile, we were busy- _no, Arnold, not-_ We were busy! We’re on this trip, remember, and…” Connor starts tuning out the words as he nudges Kevin into the passenger’s seat.

He wants to eat dinner in Orlando, not in some shady little town where they have to second guess holding hands.

 

— — — — — —

 

“No way, really?” It’s an hour later, as Connor finds a place to park. Kevin’s still on the phone, but it’s to be expected- Arnold loves Kevin almost as much as Connor does, and they haven’t really talked since they left Utah. Gosh, it feels like it’s been years.

He’ll be glad when he gets Kevin to himself again, though.

“You two got _engaged?_ I mean, I know it’s for the visa, but wow! You have to send me pictures- No, I don’t care that it’s nothing special yet, because it’s very special, Arnold!” Kevin makes a scandalised noise at Arnold’s tinny voice, cutting him off. “No, we’re going to be there, of course we are! Our end point is New York too, anyways! We should be there in, like, a week. At most.”

And then Kevin’s smiling at him, and Connor’s heart does the world’s finest tap routine, because he says, “Yeah, we’re in Orlando. Me and Connor are gonna tear up Magic Kingdom tomorrow. Arnold, I love him so much. This has been the best trip of my life.”

The moment stretches for a long time, until Arnold shouts, “BUT I’M NOT THERE, KEV-VIN!” He sounds so betrayed that Connor and Kevin both laugh until they’re crying, Kevin wheezing between giggles a half dozen assurances that it’ll only be the best trip of all time when they’re in New York.

And Kevin hasn’t stopped smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's hard to be the bard, ny'all

**Author's Note:**

> check me out on tumblr @demon-price, sometimes i draw shit for the fic


End file.
